Sky Pie Dreams

Here’s a blog post written in dedication to those pie in the sky dreams, those resolutions and ambitions we all have around this time of the year.

best-funny-new-years-resolutions-2015-memes-16

(Before you ask, yes I am aware that this post is coming 12 days too late and yes, I know Bob down the road gave up on his diet 7 days ago, but I have a life and have been far too busy doing this thing called a job and this other thing called sleeping. Sorry but not in the slightest bit sorry.)

Most people set only one New Year’s resolution, the majority of most people do not stick to this resolution. Quitting smoking, losing weight, at some point in their lives everyone will attempt one or both of these goals. Very noble aims, but also very predictable and targets that we are destined to almost certainly fail. Lets not kid outrselves, we are not these angelic spirits that can just give up a chunk of our life at the drop of a hat. We are human. We are needy, greedy, grabby little creatures, easily tempted to fall back into the trodden route we know best. We also fall into the trap of saying to ourselves that if we can’t fulfil our resolutions now then we may as well give up and bury our heads in the sand for another 11 months when we will then start the process of self loathing all over again.

I’ve decided to set myself a list of small resolutions, with the aim to complete most at least make good head way on it. By setting several goals that vary in achievability and differ from the usual, hopefully I’ll be able to finish the year and feel good about myself on some level (if I can’t achieve any of these I really need to rethink how I’m spending my evenings…)

Personal goals (in no particular order)

  • Write 100 blog posts (this post is my 35th)
  • Learn how to apply make up without stabbing myself in the eye
  • Learn how to look good in make up (“Alice, is that a black eye?” “It’s eyeshadow.” “Practising for Halloween?” “Err, yeah, sure.”)
  • Get Swindon 18-30 Professionals up to 350 members (ambitious, we’re currently at 240)
  • Get North Cotswold Young Professionals up off the ground
  • Stop wallowing in self pity and actually grow my nails
  • Write/make headway on getting a book written
  • Get more sleep
  • Attempt Spanish in some shape or form
  • Keep up the hard work and stick with the gym

Mama/Papa Bennett’s goals for me (FYI – these are not confirmed)

  • Get a boyfriend
  • Preferably rich
  • And attractive
  • Who also has a liking for sailing (for common interest) and football (because papa Bennett has been wanting to get into it for years)
  • And takes a keen interest in TV shows such as Coast and period dramas

India’s goals for me (again, TBC)

  • Stop being always right
  • Stop batting younger sisters with pillows
  • Stop forcing younger sisters to wear silly hats in public places
  • Accept that this run isn’t appropriate or normal
  • And understand that certain older sisters will never become professional Strictly dancers while they call this “dancing”:

 

Some New-ish Year resolutions to keep me going. I did consider to include some super health freak goal about eating more kale or building up more muscle mass, but then I thought those would be unrealistic given how much I was already investing in fitness. Besides, it you set yourself unrealistic aims you’re only setting a New Year’s unreolution where you spend the next month feeling negative and weak, (which kinda defeats how resolutions should make you feel). That and you’re gonna be the most hated person in the office. Just think it through:

January 4th: “Hey Karen, do you want some of my chocolate? It’s Christmas left over from the family but I felt we needed it here more than there!”

“No thanks, I’m eating my salad. Too many calories in one square of choc. Have as much as you want though. Doesn’t bother me.”

“Ok, your loss!”

January 12th: “Any plans for this weekend Karen?”

“I’m shopping for gym clothes. I’m going get something really expensive, so I look stylish when I’m at my fitness class. I be working out so much that I’ll wear it more than anything else I own.”

“Cool. I’m buying a pizza.”

January 21st: “Get anything nice in town?”

“Eggs and kale. Eggs and kale and bread.”

“To go with the fitness routine?”

“I must eat these because Davina says so.”

“O…k. I’m going to walk to the printer now…”

“I’m going to put them in a sandwich.”

“Bye Karen.”

“Or a PORTEIN SHAKE!!”

February 10th: “Hey there Tina. So, I’ve kinda given up on the health routine. Can I have some of your cake?”

“Sorry, can’t. You see, with winter here I need the extra f. Besides, this cake was a special investment, I’ll be wearing it more than anything else I own. Jog on K.”

 

If I can be bothered I may do a catch up post in six months to see where I’m at with these. I make no promises though.

 

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